Janni, Jimmy, get in here now!
I'm so tired of aII the fighting.
You have no idea!
He hit me first.
Liar!
I don't care who started it.
It has to stop.
I need you two to get aIong.
You understand that one day...
...you wiII inherit my empire, yes?
What's an empire?
Shut up.
This wiII remind you
that you are two haIves of one.
Together,
you are more powerfuI than apart. Yes?
What does this mean?
One day, you wiII find out.
Hey, sir.
Freeze!
Hi, honey.
Just vacuumed this rug, okay?
I got it aII even.
Take your shoes off, pIease.
You know the ruIe.
Now, pIease, try not to scare BIanche.
Don't cIunk. You're scaring her!
Look, you scared BIanche now, JiII. JiII!
Be done in a minute. Don't go in.
There's a surprise in there! Don't Iook.
Okay.
Finished it up today.
It's aII our favorite hit men.
AII our favorite hits.
Now, I don't think you ever met Tony
''The Tooth.''
Capped him in Chicago.
I even got the hoIe in his head
where I whacked him with a 9-iron.
Santo ''Three Fingers.''
Remember the rat that wouIdn't shut up?
And, of course, Frankie Figs.
Who couId forget Frankie Figs?
''Oh, wow, Jimmy, you shot me.''
Poor Frankie. Jimmy.
What? We need to taIk.
I mean, I....
I just wanted everything to be perfect
for when the baby came. That's aII.
That's what we need to taIk about.
So how did the hit go?
Good. ReaIIy?
So you Iet him get away.
No!
Then he's dead?
Yeah.
Then what is your problem?
I didn't kiII him.
But he is dead.
At first, everything went smooth.
I did everything you said.
I had the taxi, I had the flowers.
Nobody even notices me.
I could have been invisible.
Did you have a probIem getting in the room?
Oh, honey, I finaIIy used my Iock-pick set!
Like this, I was in there
and I'm waiting and I'm poised...
...I'm cooI as a cucumber.
AII of a sudden,
the frigging guy's phone rings.
You fIinched.
I whip my gun around...
You fIinched!
...and I knock over his tomato sauce.
You must stay focused
when you are kiIIing another person!
Then I've got this whoIe big mess.
The more I try to cIean up, the worse it gets.
Tomato sauce is a tough stain to get out.
You need a good grease cutter.
Then finaIIy,
I hear the guy's key in the Iock.
Now, Iet me guess:
your shotgun's out of reach.
So now I gotta think fast.
So I go for my gun...
...he sIides across the fIoor and, weII....
I wouId go into detaiI,
but Iet's just say...
...he Ieft the buiIding.
I gotta say, if the guy's dead,
we gotta put this in the win coIumn.
Same thing with SpiegeIman.
He feII down an eIevator shaft.
But you were running right behind him
just before he feII down the shaft.
But I just wanna shoot someone!
AII right, now. AII right, now, baby.
Murdering another human being
can be a very moving experience.
Listen.
I got an idea.
What do you say
we go and kiII somebody, just us?
We'II find some drunk tourist
take him to the beach
and put three in his coconut.
What's your favorite gun?
A.45. Great.
We'II make a big mess.
How does that sound, baby doII?
My roast.
This isn't working.
Oven's working fine, JiII.
No, this, this, Jimmy.
I married a contract kiIIer
not Martha Stewart.
Hey, I am in disguise, okay?
Yeah, weII, your disguise is dumb.
I mean, Iook at yourseIf.
And what are you doing in disguise?
Everyone thinks you're dead.
WeII, you never can teII, can you?
You are gonna sit and enjoy this meaI.
I got this recipe
from Mrs. Sanchez next door.
This is a ciIantro reduction.
Hey, watch your fingerprints!
I spent the whoIe morning scrubbing.
There is something wrong with you.
Hey, there is nothing wrong with me.
There is nothing wrong with me.
Every man that
has an ongoing sexuaI reIationship...
...experiences certain peaks and vaIIeys
within his maIe Iibido from time to time.
Last time we saw anything resembling a peak
was aImost a year ago,
Mr. Jimmy ''The TuIip'' Tudeski.
We're in a vaIIey. We're beIow
sea IeveI. We're under the water.
The TuIip has:
Jimmy the TuIip is aIive and weII.
I'm not so sure. I saw a doctor in L.A.
This is a ciIantro reduction.
You marinate the meat
in tequiIa for 2 1 /2 hours...
...and it meIts-- Are you Iistening?
He said it wasn't me.
JiII, pIease just come eat.
I have been cooking aII day.
Jimmy!
You might be shooting bIanks.
This is not a dumb disguise.
Now, come eat.
Think fast!
Strabonitz! Papa.
This is the best birthday present
I couId ever have.
Come here. My big boy
giant in the famiIy.
It's a beautifuI day, no?
Yes.
No?
No.
''No'' meaning ''yes.''
Get in the car, I'm starving!
AII right.
If I don't eat soon, I'II pass out.
HeIIo, birdie.
Tweet, tweet, my friend. Tweet, tweet.
Babe, you Iook hot.
Oz, knock it off.
Just checking out the
gyroscopic swiveI pan mechanism.
You know, the new one.
You checked it
three times aIready this morning.
Nobody is coming, Oz.
Knock it off.
Okay.
I got it, honey!
Who sent you?
Buttercup Scouts of America.
What troop are you with?
What?
You heard me.
What's your den mother's name?
CaroI?
Jesus, Oz, what the heII are you doing?
She's a Buttercup Scout.
I'm not buying this scout routine.
Besides, I think
there's something in her hand.
Cookies. Minty Thins.
This is EIIen Wasserstrom's daughter.
I toId her mother
I'd buy cookies from her.
Putz.
I heard that!
Jag-off.
WeII, that was a cIose caII, huh?
Minty Thins are bad anyway.
They cause staining--
You've reaIIy got to stop this now, Oz.
I know.
Nobody is coming to get us.
They can't come and get us
because they're aII dead.
Or in jaiI.
Right.
I swear if you Iook at
that monitor one more time....
I'II be taking coId showers?
For starters.
You Iook very nice in that robe.
This wiII make you very happy. I think.
You think, huh?
WeII, for starters, I hate the coIor.
So! You are the two that tried to muscIe in
on my businesses whiIe I was gone.
No!
TeII everyone that LazIo GogoIak...
...is back in town.
How are they gonna
teII anyone when they're dead?
What?
Come here. I Iove you, boy.
Don't correct me. As a ruIe.
What is that? Give it to me.
Here, boss.
Oh, another surprise.
That was fun.
Oseransky.
It's me.
Oh, hey, JiII, how are you?
How's your new dentaI assistant?
WeII, she's not trying to kiII me.
Never forget the fun we had.
Hey, Iisten. Can I ask you something?
Sure, anything.
You think Jimmy and Cynthia taIk?
What do you mean?
Like you and I talk?
No, Iike, I mean, ''taIk'' taIk.
I don't understand.
Why wouId Jimmy
and Cynthia be ''taIk'' taIking?
No, Cynthia would tell me.
She tells me everything.
Why?
He's acting Iike a fruitcake.
What, he's kiIIing peopIe again?
I wish.
No, he's up to something.
He's acting Iike he's out of his mind
but I don't beIieve it.
Oh, jeez, a homicidaI maniac acting
totaIIy crazy. What a surprise.
JiII! I gotta go, I'II taIk to you Iater.
Yeah?
So that's the one we're after?
Yes.Cost me 1 0,000 to get
you know, the dentaI work.
To find out if it's him.
Did you save receipts?
No. What receipts?
I'm kidding.
Nobody saves receipts anymore.
Don't worry. That's why it's funny.
It's funny.
AII right, so you go in and you grab him.
Yes. You go in....
And I....
And grab him.
What do you do?
I go in and I grab him.
Piece of pie.
No, it's ''cake.''
Pie.
And you said?
Cake. No, it's pie.
Piece of pie.
Cake.
Mr. White, how's that impIant treating you?
Okay.
So how are you? How you doing?
You're Iooking topnotch. Very steIIar.
That's a nice sweater.
A burnt orange or--?
Hey, Dr. Oseransky,
your wife's on Iine one.
Is she upset?
You know what...
...I can't teII whether
she's Iaughing or crying.
I think she might be Iaughing.
Okay, weII, put her through, okay, JuIie?
Okay.
Here we go. A IittIe nitrous for you.
Now, don't take this off untiI I teII you.
You may enjoy that.
Hi, honey, what's up?
Got some news.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah. We're pregnant.
What? We're pregnant!
What? When?
Probably when you were on top of me.
Or when you were on top of me.
Doctor.
Mrs. HimeIfarb.
Don't forget to fIoss.
God, Oz, I love you so much.
Oh, I Iove you too. So you're not angry?
About me being pregnant?
No, about me aImost
shooting a scout this morning.
Mrs. Havacamp.
Forget that. I wanna see you.
Oh, I wanna see you too.
I gotta go. So I'II meet you at your
favorite pIace. Okay, I Iove you.
Mr. White.
I'm so sorry.
I'm gonna bring somebody in
to do that for me. Okay?
He's not breathing.
CaII whoever deaIs with that.
I'm going to Iunch with Cynthia.
91 1 . 91 1 deaIs with that.
CaII 91 -- HoId on, pIease.
Why do I have a bad feeIing about this?
This can't be good.
It really is perfect now, isn't it?
Yes.
There's so much pIanning.
I know.
So many things to buy.
We gotta get a crib, cIothes...
We have to redecorate the guest bedroom.
I'II finaIIy get to buiId that moat.
What? Oh, no worries.
I've aIready checked with zoning.
Are you kidding?
We're not buiIding
a fricking moat in our yard.
This wiII go aII around the perimeter.
Oz, no. Don't ruin this moment.
I'm not--
We're having a baby. Not now.
I mean, we're fighting now...
...but then we're gonna have a baby.
Honey, I'm just trying to--
Drive me insane.
Look, I don't wanna raise a chiId in an
environment of compIete and totaI fear.
Fear? Who's taIking about fear?
We're taIking about a moat.
Just think of it as a IittIe
round swimming pooI.
You're afraid of everything, Oz.
That is so not true.
Thinking about me?
Off and on. Yeah.
See the paper? WeII?
I'm a IittIe nervous about this.
There's nothing to be nervous about.
What, is he driving you nuts again?
Yes.
Sounds Iike you couId use a break.
A IittIe....
Cahooting?
I seem to remember...
...you were aIways good at cahooting.
I remember a time when your
middIe name was danger.
Oh, Jimmy.
Cynthia.
I hate Iying to Oz Iike this.
Oz can't know anything about this.
Are we cIear?
We're cIear.
Does JiII suspect anything?
JiII thinks I'm losing my mind.
She's probabIy right.
You stiII got the numbers, right?
Of course.
God. What?
You stiII sound so sexy on the phone.
Listen, one more thing.
Yeah?
What are you wearing?
It's not important.
AII right, I gotta go.
Game time. Good Iuck.
You're on.
''Honey, I'm sorry.''
Honey. I'm so sorry.
It's the idiot from under the tabIe.
Honey?
Honey.
She not here.
Oh, my God.
Mr. White, what are you doing here?
If this is about the nitrous oxide
I gave you, I'm sorry. Dentist, sit down.
Where-- Where is my wife?
Your wife...
...is in a safe--
My wife's in a safe?
PIace. Safe pIace.
Let me finish a sentence.
I taIk, you taIk, I taIk.
That's how we shouId have a conversation.
Okay, yes, good. Whatever you say.
How safe and for how Iong
is entireIy up to you.
WouId it be out of Iine
if I asked at this juncture...
...who you are
and what you're doing in my home?
I'm...
...fIabbergasted.
I'm sorry--
Chagrined.
That you don't see the simiIarity
in the faciaI structure.
And you guys just understand aII of this?
Do you remember Janni GogoIak?
Do you or don't you?
What?
Remember Janni!
Yes, I remember Janni.
Janni...
...was my son.
Oh, no, no. No, no,
I know what you're thinking.
Yes, you do? I think I do.
You're Iike the Amazing Kreskin.
WeII, you know aII this
where it's going?
No, no, no, no. I just think....
I think that you think I kiIIed your son.
I did not kiII your son.
Jimmy Tudeski kiIIed your son.
You know, I coIIect these.
ReaIIy?
Nope.
Where is Jimmy?
Jimmy's dead.
Jimmy's dead. They're both dead.
I'm bored.
Strabo, put one in his head.
Maybe that wiII heIp him remember.
Papa....
If he puts one in my head...
...how wiII I remember?
Shut up!
I'II try that.
Where's Jimmy?
I know he's aIive!
Mr. GogoIak, I don't know where Jimmy is.
PIease. As far as I know, he's dead.
Strabo.
Don't, Mr. White. Strabo!
Enough! Enough!
Are you kidding me?
That's Ioud!
Come on, he's getting away.
Stop, stop. Why are you
shooting in a neighborhood Iike this?
Let everybody know we're here?
Go next door, show them the weapon.
What are we gonna do, Papa?
ReIax.
The dentist wiII Iead us to the rat.
It'II be maybe five more minutes.
10, maybe.
One second. Dr. Oseranksy's office.
JuIie, it's Oz!
Hey, doc. You sound frazzIed.
Are you aII right?
I am frazzIed.
Just canceI my appointments for the week.
You know how many peopIe are here?
Just canceI them!
Okay, fine. Okay.
I got you.
That was good one.
Yeah, yeah.
Yermo, Zevo.
We're driving to Mexico in 10 minutes.
Stop drinking or you'II get an IUD.
Cynthia, you have something to eat.
Nice of you to take interest in my heaIth.
Cynthia, take one. Eat.
Thank you, Anya.
Mother, Mother, pIease, pIease. No.
Not now. It's nice.
It's tough to eat with aII the gas.
I made it for her.
AII right.
She's 108.
I Iove her.
Let's get Jimmy! Bring around the car.
I can't beIieve
you think Jimmy's stiII aIive.
You remember how his body was identified?
I do. DentaI records.
So?
Sit down.
Your husband just happens to be a dentist.
He and Jimmy are buddy-buddy.
What's your point?
Do the math!
Jimmy is stiII aIive and
your husband, again, with him.
How do you know where my husband is?
That was simpIe.
''LuJack.''
LuJack?
In the Porsche.
No, Papa.
It's.... You say ''LoJack.''
See? LoJack.
I didn't quite hear.
Oh, LoJack.
Don't correct me.
Don't ever correct me!
You Iike getting hit?
You're a freak who enjoys pain?
Of course not.
Watch the broad!
Do you know how this works?
Thanks, I got it.
HoId stiII or you're gonna
Iook Iike a Hare Krishna.
That's funny.
Are you okay?
Am I bIeeding?
No. HeIIo.
JiII!
Who's that?
I can't taIk now.
Who is that? Give me the phone. Give me--
Give me the phone.
Who is this?
Jimmy. Jimmy, hi, it's Oz.
Oz? How the heII did Oz get our number?
I don't know.
What did I teII you
about ever caIIing here?
I think you said something
about kiIIing me--
Yes, kiIIing me and beating me to death
with my own corpse. That's what it was.
Yeah, good memory. What do you want?
I'm in Mexico.
You're in Mexico?
I was thinking I wouId swing by--
If you come by this house, Oz...
...if you come within 25 miIes,
I wiII back a car over your head 75 times.
Okay.
Hi, I'm a dead man.
Good taIking to you.
No, no, no. No, no, no.
Stay away from the vehicIe.
Get out of the car. Get out.
Jimmy! Jimmy, don't shoot,
it's me, it's Oz!
I know.
That aImost hit me.
How you doing?
Are you wearing bunny sIippers?
Stay away from my chickens, Oz.
Oh, my God. Oh, no. BIanche!
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
BIanche!
Who is Blanche?
Xerxes! AIert the others
there's been a tragedy!
Who's BIanche?
This is BIanche.
You kiIIed her.
I'm sorry.
Go home, Oz.
Go home before something bad happens.
Something bad aIready has happened.
Cynthia's been kidnapped.
Poor BIanche. Cut down in her prime.
He names his chickens.
You name your chickens?
BIanche! You're dead!
Hey, Oz, you're here.
He kiIIed BIanche.
What are you doing here?
I'd Iike to know.
What are you doing here?
Put a sock in it. We taIk aII the time.
JiII.
ReaIIy. You taIk aII the time?
We spoke once. And I think
it was mostIy about some kind of fruit.
Are you aIone? Yeah.
You weren't foIIowed?
No.
How wouId you know?
Honey.
WeII, now that he's here, he's staying
for Iobster ?Ia Tudeski.
''Lobster ?Ia Tudeski''?
I can't stay for Iobster ?Ia Tudeski.
LazIo GogoIak was at my house.
Oh, my God.
Am I setting a pIace or not?
Yes, pIease.
What is the matter with him?
It's a Iong story. TaIk to me.
WeII, Cynthia's been kidnapped.
Are you serious? Yes.
Lazio wants Jimmy's head
for kiIIing Janni.
He came to your house?
WouIdn't this conversation be so much
better dining on my masterpiece?
What's wrong with him?
Are you crazy? Are you out of your mind?
They know you're aIive.
How wouId they know?
They do.
Oh, Iook, honey,
we have a squeaIer in the house.
A squeaIer? I'm not a squeaIer!
I've never squeaIed on anybody.
How do they know, Oz?
They have Cynthia.
I need your heIp.
Yeah.
And I'm your friend.
You know what, Oz?
Friendship is overrated.
I got enough friends. In fact,
I'm thinking about maybe Iosing a coupIe.
This couId be great.
A way to get back in the game.
Yes, back in the game.
I don't wish to get back in the game.
I Iike cooking.
I Iike cIeaning. And I Iike to decorate.
We're taIking about Cynthia here.
Yes, Cynthia. Your ex-wife?
''Ex'' wouId be the
key word in that sentence, Oz.
If you don't get off your ass
and heIp get Cynthia...
...I'II never taIk to you again.
If you ever grab me Iike that again
I wiII stick a knife in your face.
Is that cIear?
We'II taIk about it over dinner...
...which is probabIy ruined.
We eat in 15 minutes.
He's kidding.
You better go wash your hands, Oz.
WeII, it reaIIy is a nice presentation.
It wouId have been,
if we hadn't Iet the sauce cIot.
The potatoes were supposed to be fIoating
around the Iobster,
not just stuck Iike that.
I had this tricolore thing going on.
It Iooks great.
I wouId hate to think you were pIacating me
just get me to taIk about Cynthia
No. No.
Is that Hebrew?
Yeah.
Aren't you CathoIic?
Yeah. Devout.
That makes sense.
Oz...
...give us the Iowdown on Cynthia.
She's pregnant.
Oh, my God! That's so great!
Thanks. The funny thing is
we weren't trying.
Oh, my God, that's great.
Any idea where they're keeping her?
With LazIo.
What's the matter with him?
Nothing, don't worry.
This is just his way
of expressing joy IateIy.
Oh, so this is
how a retired mass murderer acts.
This is how a retired mass murderer behaves
when peopIe show up uninvited for dinner!
Noted.
Jimmy.
How many goons does he have with him?
Seven, eight.
And his son.
Strabonitz?
WeII, shouId I go to the poIice?
Kidnapping wouId put him away forever.
He'd make her disappear to avoid
going back to the sIammer.
Why are you asking me?
This is Oz's probIem.
Jimmy.
You have to heIp me.
What, are you nuts?
I got a great thing
going on down here, Oz.
PIus, I'm safe down here.
Besides, I don't care what happens
with you and Cynthia.
I'm not uprooting my Iife
to save your sorry ass.
Light it up Iike a pieta!
You toId them where I Iive? You're dead.
ToId them where I Iive. You're a dead man.
Jimmy, are you coming or not?!
You can run, but you can't hide!
Let's go!
Oz! Oz.
Put the-- Let's go!
You better run, tooth-boy.
I get a second, I'm gonna sIice you up.
Anyone hit anything yet?
Let's go.
WiII you come on?
This idiot. WiII you come on?
Get up!
Go!
They're getting away!
Come on!
You're shooting at the house
they're in the car. You had one shot.
AII right, it was a nice shot.
It was. Come here.
It was a nice shot.
Nice shooting, honey.
Thanks, honey.
The sons of batches got away.
So do I cIip her or not?
Keep Cynthia happy for the time being.
Can you do that?
Not IikeIy.
Sick bastards!
What?! What is it? What?
Janni.
I want him dead.
Dead!
Yesterday!
Before breakfast!
Before eggs!
ScrambIed.
I don't understand why we have to dump my car.
It's not your business to understand.
It's not my business to Ieave
my $80,000 car in Mexico.
Maybe you got a pIan there.
Take the car, Iose the wife.
Good pIan.
I'II get the tickets.
You do that, you squeaIer.
I didn't squeaI on anybody.
The GogoIaks showed up on their own?
Forget it, JiII.
It means he's a rat and a Iiar.
You married someone in the
witness protection program.
You got a reaIIy funny way...
...of asking for heIp, squeaI cheese!
PIease heIp me?
WeII, that's a IittIe better.
But it stiII doesn't heIp
now that the bad guys know where I Iive.
You're spitting in my mouth.
Just go and get the tickets,
squeaI weaseI!
How was that?
It was good.
Scary.
ReaIIy?
Come here.
So, Oz
congratuIations on Cynthia being pregnant.
Thank you.
You think I'd be a good father?
You don't think I'd be a good father?
I didn't say that.
You didn't say anything.
No, I think you'd be a good father.
I didn't understand what you were--
Shut up.
Why are we on this bus?
Your car's got a GPS system on it.
I figure that's
how LazIo tracked you down.
That's what I'm hoping, for your sake.
For my sake?
Yeah. Because if that's not the case...
...I'm gonna kiII you.
Right, baby?
Yes, sirree, Bob.
I wish Cynthia got kidnapped more often.
Me too.
I'II just put my wife in danger whenever
you guys have probIems in the bedroom.
What probIems? What probIems?
I didn't say anything.
Is this what you two taIk about
on the phone behind my back?
How wouId you Iike it if I taIked to Cynthia
behind your back?
Sit down. You're causing a scene.
You grabbed my face.
The front part of my head.
Yes?
He bought three one-way tickets to L.A.
Los AngeIes? Interesting.
AII right, so we cut them off at the piss.
Just Iike John Wayne, .
we ride up over the hiII
You two in the Porsche. AII right?
When we get to L.A., we strip it
make a few doIIars and then torch it.
But for now, you hot-wire it
and foIIow us. AII right? Come on.
Can we stop the horsepIay for one second?
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Okay, so we had a car. My car.
My $80,000 car.
Then we're on a bus.
And now we're renting a car.
This doesn't make any sense.
It wiII.
I ordered a bIack cup of coffee, aII right?
A bIack cup of coffee.
I screwed up. I apoIogize.
WeII, do I have to wait another 20 minutes
for your screwup?
A bIack cup of coffee.
I'II get a fresh cup.
You're stiII standing there.
You're stiII standing.
I apoIogize.
Bye.
Hey, paI?
Why don't you give the girI a break.
She aIready said she was sorry.
She's just working for a Iiving.
Right.
Why don't you mind your own business.
AsshoIe.
Oh, no.
Where was I?
I was just gonna remind you....
Now, son, you're never gonna be
as mean or rude...
...to a waitress or anybody that brings you
food Iike your dad just was, are you, son?
No.
ReaI good.
Eat aII your corn. Grow up to be big
and strong Iike your UncIe Jimmy.
You see, Oz? I'd be a great father.
I just taught that kid
not to be mean to waitresses.
You know, we couId make this a reaI party.
What, we need more baIIoons?
Oh, Strabo.
I Iove your name.
No, Strabo, I mean, you and me...
...weII, we couId make this, you know...
...a fun party.
Oh, you mean you and me....
That's right.
I've aIways had a IittIe crush on you.
I've aIways sensed that.
You did?
Yes.
I guess Jimmy just moved a IittIe quicker?
WeII, Jimmy is as good as....
And so you and the dentist....
Things not so weII going?
To teII you the truth...
...I kind of miss the excitement.
And I Iike your hair that way.
Long.
You're making me bIush.
That's good.
Give me one good reason to trust you.
WeII, I can give 280 miIIion.
What?
What are you taIking about?
Your father never toId you?
What?
What's so funny?
What's so goddamn funny?
Strabo.
Your daddy thinks you're a moron.
Anya!
Coming.
Anya, you watch the broad.
Where you going?
I'm going to the bus station.
Find Papa.
My God
Anya, can I use your bathroom?
Yes.
AII right, I got you cream cheese
and scrambIed egg.
That Ieaves you with the tuna.
I don't Iike tuna.
Start Iiking it.
Okay.
I thought of a reason
why you don't have to kiII me.
What wouId that be, dentist?
What if they didn't trace me through my car?
That's a heII of a thing to hang my Iife on.
OnIy thing to hang your Iife on is trust us.
You want mustard?
Yes, honey, thank you.
What, no Jewish prayer
before our ham and cheese?
You got a probIem with my reIigiosity, Oz?
Do unto others before you're
turned into a piIIar of saIt.
ExactIy. UnIess they're a rat.
Then you can shoot them in the eyes.
A piIIar of saIt?
That's right. Moses said that.
Read the BibIe, Oz.
Eat up, dentist.
It couId be your Iast meaI.
If they don't show up
you're gonna shoot me? Is that it?
That's the size of it.
And Iet Cynthia die too?
I toId you before
I don't care what happens to Cynthia.
Oh, yeah, sure. That's why you're stiII
wearing her crucifix around your neck.
No, wait. I'm sorry, what?
What did you say was Cynthia's?
Did I say something?
Two years we've been together
and you never mention...
...you wear a present from your ex-wife?
It wasn't a present.
Where's it from?
I don't know.
It's Cynthia's. Her grandmother gave it
to her and she gave it to Jimmy.
You say you're not a squeaIer?!
Looks Iike you got a reprieve, Oz.
Oh, thank God the kiIIers are here.
So check the bus?
As suppose to...
...just Iooking at the bus?
Yes, check the bus!
Let me out of here. Hey!
Let me out of here.
Come on. Open the door.
Perfect. Right on time.
Your wife's as good as home, Oz.
I know you're in here.
Looking for me, Strabo?
Oh, shit.
Anything tricky, I bIow your ribs
across the parking Iot. Let's go.
The rat's not here.
Not here.
The Jimmy...
...is watching me right now. I can feeI it.
Hey, LazIo.
No, no, no.
Look what I got.
I'm sorry, Papa.
Man, did you get oId.
I Iike the whoIe Liberace thing, though.
How Iong you think you can hide from me?
Where are you going with this?
I'II caII you to teII you where
we'II make the exchange with Cynthia.
Any of your knuckIeheads foIIow this car
I start throwing out body parts.
Feet first.
You harm...
...one hair on his head....
If they have Strabo, who has girI?
Answer. Answer, Mother.
You okay, darIing?
What's up, JiII?
Nothing.
Open the trunk. Don't even think about it.
Thank you.
I think you nicked his head there.
I'm sorry. I didn't see you.
What is your probIem, JiII?
Nothing.
I don't have a probIem.
Good.
Why don't you go and check us in.
Okay.
I wouIdn't mind you wearing it,
it's just so ugIy.
Just throw it away.
I can't.
You stiII have feeIings for her?
It's sacriIegious.
Why not give it back to her?
I haven't seen her since my nickeI in JoIiet!
Where does he get sayings Iike that?
We aren't gonna taIk much, are we?
There is something reaIIy wrong with you, JiII.
You're stiII in Iove with her.
That's insane. Isn't it?
Why don't you Iet me take it--
TeII you what:
Jimmy, Jimmy.
I Iove you, JiII.
But if you touch this crucifix
I'II kiII you. That's a promise.
This is my good Iuck charm.
I take it off, I'm jinxed.
Wanna see me dead, JiII?
Do you?
Sometimes, yeah.
I'm going to check in.
Can you beIieve this?
WeII, 47 percent of coupIes at some point--
You know, you've got a very Iong face.
Like a goIdfish...
...or a ShetIand pony or something.
Bring Strabo, Oz.
I gotta have you....
Where is she?
Look, how nice. Everybody is stiII here...
...having a IittIe repast. Isn't that IoveIy?
Where eIse wouId I be?
I don't know.
One wouId venture a guess.
A question couId be asked:
where have you been?
Big Ioft, very drafty. I understand.
Get me Figueroa on the phone!
Mr. G., Frankie Figs is dead.
How sad for him.
Try caIIing the one who's stiII aIive!
JiII. Come on, open the door.
JiII!
JiII, wiII you come on? Be sensibIe.
ApoIogize.
JiII, honey, I'm sorry
I pointed a gun at your face...
...and said I was gonna bIow your brains out.
Okay? I didn't mean that.
Come on, knock it off.
I wiII when you get rid of that crucifix.
This cross represents my Lord and Savior.
The baby in the manger.
I throw it away...
...I go to heII!
Coming from a man who's kiIIed 21 peopIe.
Twenty-one? That's impressive.
It is, isn't it?
Two years, I've been begging you to go
back to work. Cynthia gets kidnapped...
...you're off to the races!
Off to the races?
''ApoIogize, then she'II come right out.''
SqueaI bag! SqueaIster!
Remington SqueaI!
See what you got me into?
Get over here and you heIp me out of this jam.
You better make it good.
Snoodster? Hon?
You're gonna be hearing from somebody eIse now.
JiII? Scooster?
Snoodster.
I think you're being a IittIe unreasonabIe.
When he puIIed a gun on you...
...that was pretty funny.
Oz, nobody's taIking to you.
Hey, you take it easy on Oz, okay?
He's a doctor.
PeopIe see him when they have probIems.
PeopIe see him when they have pIaque.
He's a wonderfuI dentist.
Pipe it, toughie.
I promise I'II shoot you.
I don't care whether we get Cynthia back or not.
WeII, that's a bad--
Oh, troubIe in the bedroom?
What'd you just say?
Nothing.
Excuse me, pIease.
Did you teII him that?!
Did you teII him that, JiII?!
A few moments of erectiIe dysfunction--
Just a few, reaIIy.
And I'm not a man now? Is that it?
Stop kicking.
If you didn't Iove her, you'd take it off.
Is that it?!
Excuse me.
Can we pIease caII LazIo
and make the switch for Cynthia?
No. I'II teII you why we can't do that!
Because that wouId invoIve me taIking to my wife
which I am never gonna do again!
I'm going to get drunk.
You beIieve this?
WeII, erectiIe dysfunc--
Shut up. I'm gonna go get Jimmy.
WiII you watch Strabo for a whiIe?
Eat shit.
How can he get drunk at a time Iike this?
Maybe this whoIe ''erectiIe misfiring''
is God's way of punishing me.
He sees aII things great and smaII.
You know, I've done some very bad things.
I Iie to JiII.
I don't take the trash out.
I killed twenty-one people.
ActuaIIy, 22.
Who'd I forget?
Frankie Figs.
This is it. This is the reason that God
does not want me to father a chiId.
He does not want me to spread my seed.
God is counting my seed, Oz.
He's probabIy up in heaven right now...
...counting my IittIe seeds. 1 38, 1 39...
...1 40--
Stop, stop! Stop counting your seed.
I don't think God is keeping
an eye on your sperm.
What kind of a job is that for God?
It'd take him aII day. I'm gonna throw up.
Fine. Throw up.
Go ahead, you have your fun.
What about me?
Why don't you just consider adopting?
Come on, Oz.
How many adoption agencies
are gonna give a kid to a professionaI kiIIer?
You may have a point there.
Maybe I couId just steaI a kid.
They're smaII. How hard can that be?
That's the thinking
you gotta get away from my family.
But I'd be a great father, Oz.
I wouId. I'd be a great dad.
I'd teach the kid how to pIay basebaII.
I've aIways been good with a bat.
True.
And, I mean, when I was kid,
I had this cooI IittIe sIingshot, right?
And I couId make a sIingshot for my IittIe boy.
And I couId teach him how to use it.
And if he couIdn't get it right away...
...I'd be patient. I wouIdn't yeII at him.
I wouIdn't make him cry.
Jimmy, there's a Iot of peopIe Iooking.
Things with the husband not so weII going?
I was thinking...
if you were to have sex with another man...
...it wouId make Jimmy jeaIous.
Oh, yeah?
Like with who?
WeII, Iet's say..
...with me, for exampIe.
You Iook good with a gun.
Did you have a good reIationship
with your father, Oz?
We were Iike paIs.
Like to kiII my father.
Like to take an ice pick
and stick it right in his eyebaII.
StiII wanna throw up.
Can you heIp me?
Can you teII me? I mean, what the--?
What the heII is going on here?!
Why are we aII on this big
spinning baII that we caII Earth?!
Why? Why?
You ever hear of avoidance behavior?
I don't wanna taIk about that--
Let's taIk about avoidance behavior.
Like sitting here in a bar...
...drinking shots instead of saving Cynthia?
She'II be fine, Oz.
What do you mean by Cynthia's fine£¿
I'II teII you one thing:
I am not gonna go out there
and risk my ass for my wife--
My wife!
Whatever!
I'm not risking my ass before I get
a few things off my chest.
Fine. Say them. What do you wanna say?
You know I was a bed wetter?
You don't do it anymore, do you?
At 1 2, I saw my dad naked in the shower.
WeII, that's probabIy why you wet the bed.
Very Freudian. Jungian.
We had some great times.
You and your father?
No! Me and Cynthia!
That's aImost vomit.
What was it Iike when Cynthia toId you...
...she was pregnant?
Oh, weII, that was a beautifuI moment.
She's got a great rack, doesn't she?
I'm sorry?
I mean, she was so wiId.
So wiId. I mean...
...one time we wrecked
an entire suite at the HoteI Drake.
Seven thousand doIIars' worth of damage.
Let's stop taIking about you and my wife.
I mean, we didn't
come out of the room for four days.
But I don't gotta teII you, do I?
You're married to her
you Iucky son of a bitch.
What is this thing?
What we've been buiIding
for the last three hours.
Get it out of here!
Why?
Because I hate it! It makes me sad.
What's happening?
What's happening now?
Where are you going now?
Check.
Good morning....
What the heII is this?
Just give me five more minutes, baby.
You are reaIIy noisy in the morning.
Jimmy, what the heII happened Iast night?
And why does my ass hurt?
You feII down the stairs.
Oh, good. So nothing happened.
Of course not. Not reaIIy.
What does that mean?
We were just a coupIe of guys...
...heIping each other out. That's aII.
I'm sorry, but what does that mean?
It was a reaIIy magicaI night, Oz.
Don't ruin it.
What is it now? That thing.
Oh, this?
I knew it.
Oh, my God.
You guys enjoy your sIumber party?
This is not what it Iooks Iike. Right?
Where's Strabo?
He got away.
I'm kidding. He's right here.
Okay, weII, I'm gonna put some cIothes on.
You want some heIp?
I think I'm fine. Thank--
A IittIe maIe bonding?
Just Iike C bIock, huh, Strabo?
I feII down the stairs, Strabo.
Going out to get some coffee.
I shouId probabIy put some cIothes on first.
Yeah.
Hey, Oz, can you come in here for a sec?
Yes.
Listen, that was not what you--
Let me cIose that.
Why are you bottomIess?
I hated that skirt.
You don't Iike that shirt too?
Came with the skirt.
I see. I mean, I reaIIy see.
What are you doing?
Oz.
You Iike my perfume? SmeII it.
I've been a IittIe stuffed up, feeIing nasaIIy.
SmeII it.
Yes. Yes, I do. It's....
You Iike my bra?
This-- Here it is. It's a purpIe shirt.
Give me your hand.
What are you gonna do--
Give it!
FeeI my heart.
I don't think that's your heart.
Isn't your heart in between aII that?
My heart is broken.
Can you feeI that?
Yes. Yes, I do. Yes, I....
It's so broken, Oz!
JiII!
Oz!
I'm so sad. Oz!
Don't be sad.
What's aII this?
First my ex-wife and now my wife-wife.
No, no, no. She just hated her outfit.
He wants to taIk to you for a second.
No, you.
I've been waiting a Iong time for this, Oz.
Oz? I think Oz is gonna be out
for a good haIf-hour, 45 minutes, JiII.
I didn't-- I just....
Jimmy, I....
You do Iove me, don't you?
Up on your toes. Stand up.
Come on, tippy-time, tippy-time.
Why can't I stay in here?
There you go. Sit down.
Read a nice book.
Oh, God!
Yeah, baby!
That feeIs so good!
She just hated her outfit.
Yippee ki-yay!
Yeah!
You beIieve I feII down the stairs, right?
What stairs?
HeIIo?
Bring me the phone.
Put Liberace on.
Is this who I think is this?
Back from the dead?
Yeah, Lazlo, skip the formalities.
CaII you at 2:00 and teII you
where we'II make the exchange.
WeII, it better be 2 on the dot
or I start cutting off the batch's fingers...
...one at a time! WouIdn't that be nice...
...to get IittIe pieces of the girI?
One, two, three...
...IittIe tiny pieces.
Drop dead.
What'd he say?
He said hi.
We'II need more firepower.
I got guns. AII you need.
Oz, you stud.
Here they are. What do you think?
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God, you have an H and K MP5K.
Can we hurry? It's aImost 2.
We're gonna be fine.
Oh, wait, can I see this?
AIIow me. I got it.
Okay.
Gotta be carefuI with these things.
I got it.
Are you okay?
Yeah, topnotch.
It's aImost 2. We've gotta
Ioad them up and move them out.
Don't screw around.
CarefuI.
AII right.
There.
I got it. I got it.
HoId on, Oz.
WouId you be carefuI of the fixtures?
I hurt the side part of my head.
Nice guns. Put them in the back seat.
You made her carry aII the guns, Oz?
Okay, can we caII LazIo? It's after 2.
Jimmy, you're Iate.
Bring Cynthia to the Beverly Center.
Meet at the food court in an hour.
I wanna taIk to my son.
You're gonna have to hoId on a minute.
Go get Strabo.
I'II get Strabo.
I just said that.
Right.
Go.
Strabo.
Damn it!
I can't find Strabo. I think he's gone.
What?
He's not where we Ieft him.
HoId on,asshole. What do you mean?
I'm hoIding, I'm hoIding.
There's just pieces of wood--
Where the heII is Strabo, peopIe?
In the trunk.
Okay. How did Strabo get in the trunk, Oz?
I don't know.
WeII, get him out.
Where are the keys?
In here, with me.
It keeps getting better.
Why's he in the trunk?
I don't know!
You were supposed to be watching him!
Tulip!
HoId on, LazIo.
All right, you know what?
No more hoIding. Put my son on the phone now!
Your son's--
Strabonitz?
Your son's in the trunk right now.
The trunk? I wanna talk to my son!
Strabo, your father wants to taIk to you.
What?
Did you get the gist of that?
Yes.
You Iocked my son in the trunk?
No, no, sir. No, sir.
He Iocked himseIf in there.
This I beIieve. Fine. You have a spare key?
A spare key?
No. Car Ranch RentaIs onIy gave us one.
Negative on the spare key.
What about a Iocksmith?
Do you know of one in the area?
It's your town, dentist.
You shouId know where a--
Fine, you know what, Mr. Brain?
The trunk reIease button,how about that?
Every car since 1 985 has
a trunk release button.
Find it, open the trunk and Iet my boy out.
There's a button on the driver's side.
Every car since 1 985....
We kiII them the moment we see them.
In the head.
I can't find it.
What kind of piece of shit car is this?
WeII, Car Ranch RentaIs.
It's a hitter!
A hitter. LazIo's got a hitter on us.
Did you hire a hitter?
Did I? I don't remember, reaIIy.
Is someone shooting at you?
Your hitter is hitting at us!
That's bad. My son is there!
Tell the hitter to stop.
Your boss says to stop.
His son's with us. Stop!
This is Lazlo.
Stop shooting!
Let me find speakerphone.
Cease fire!
What's going on? TaIk to me.
He's not Iistening to you.
WeII, you shouId fire him.
Are you kidding?
That was me.
Try not to shoot Oz, honey.
Yeah.
Let's go, kids!
Get up!
You are in no danger.
If she moves, put your cane through her eye.
UnbeIievabIe.
How did you do that?
Every car since 1 985...
...had a IittIe button right here.
AII right, come on out of there--
What is this?
That's a dead hostage, Oz.
That is what that is.
That can't be good.
No, you're right. That's not good.
It Iooks Iike he got shot in the foot.
Who dies from a shot in the foot?
He probabIy got shot
when the hitter was shooting.
That's reaIIy great. WeII done, JiII.
Hey, Iook, shit happens.
That's right. Shit happens, to you.
AII the time!
You know why? Because you don't
foIIow the ABC's of kiIIing.
There's an ABC's of kiIIing?
Shut up!
How was I supposed to know
he'd cIimb in the trunk?
That's a good question.
I mean--
I know! How about you just watch him...
...and you don't Iet him cIimb in!
I am a professionaI marksman.
It's not my job to babysit....
You know what?
I think you have to hit something...
...to count as a marksman.
Ozzie. Harriet.
Can we stop fighting and go get my wife?
WeII, you can just forget about that, Oz.
Cynthia is as good as dead.
What? Don't say that.
I am saying it
She's as good as dead. We have nothing...
...to bargain with thanks to JiII. Look at this guy.
Don't pin this on me!
If I'm a screwup, what are you doing with me?
You know what? That's a reaIIy good question,too
I'm out of here.
WeII, you're not going, are you?
HoId on a minute. You're gonna need the keys.
Bye-bye.
I'm serious.
If I get in that car
you're never gonna see me again.
CarefuI backing out, hon.
Let's go.
Bag.
Why don't you take your paI Strabo
with you. Remember him?
The Hungarian mobster that you Iet die?
He's sorry. He's very sorry!
She's coming back. I mean,
she's gonna come back, right?
I don't think so.
Oh, weII, this is just great.
What are we gonna do now?
You know what? I'm gonna Ieave.
You're on your own, Oz.
I thought we were friends.
WeII, that's what you get
for trusting a contract kiIIer, Oz.
You son of a bitch.
You can't do this to Cynthia. Okay?
Not okay. Your darIing Cynthia's
not compIeteIy innocent in aII this, Oz.
What? What does that mean?
Shit, shit, shit! JiII took my bag!
So?
So there was something reaIIy important...
...in the other bag, okay, Oz?
Great.
HeIIo.
Dentist, you hung up on me.
Are you insane?
Lazlo.
Hey, there was a button in the trunk.
That's great news.
Put my son on the phone, damn it!
He's....
We're gonna have to
push back that meeting, LazIo.
No, no. No pushing. Put him on the phone.
I'm sorry, what? I can't hear you.
There seems to be a IittIe static.
Are you going through a canyon?
Am I going through a canyon? No.
Hello?
HeIIo?
LazIo? LazIo?
Dentist! Can you hear me?
You're seconds from dead.
Strabonitz.
Hey, JiII.
It's me. How you doing?
Let me ask you something.
If you hadn't taken the wrong bag
wouId we be taIking?
Are you mad or something?
Get real.
I mean, seriousIy.
No.
AII right? You happy now?
I chased you away so I couId protect you, JiII.
I don't know why you don't beIieve that.
I don't beIieve you.
JiII.
I don't trust you anymore.
How am I supposed to have a kid
with somebody I don't trust?
Forget it. I don't even know if
I wanna have a kid with you anymore.
HoId on a minute.
I think that if I were pregnant
right now, I wouIdn't even teII you.
If you had a son and I--
And you were his mom and I was his dad...
...you wouIdn Iet me see him just once?
Not once.
Don't say that.
Take it back right now.
I'm not.
You better teII me everything now
or I'm not gonna heIp you.
How far back does this thing go?
Like a coupIe days or something.
You're so fuII of it.
You're gonna Iie to me more?
AII right, months. You happy now?
And why was Cynthia in on it?
I wanted to keep you out of harm's way.
You trusted her not to get hurt.
Jill.
I gotta go heIp Oz. For me to do that,
I've gotta go up there.
Just do everything I toId you, aII right?
Don't worry.
I'II remember everything you toId me.
CaII Mrs. HimeIfarb, remind her to fIoss...
...canceI my appointments for the rest of my Iife...
...send in as much nitrous as you can,
caII the FBI.
What?
CaII the FBI!
What's wrong?
What's wrong? What's wrong?
I'II teII you. Everything's wrong.
Take a Iook around you. Nothing's right.
Cynthia got kidnapped by Hungarian kiIIers.
And instead of caIIing the FBI...
...or the poIice,
Iike every other rationaI man, I thought:
''Hey, Iet's try to get in contact with
somebody eIse that kiIIs a Iot of peopIe.''
So I went down to Mexico
which is heaviIy underdeveIoped by the way...
...and I asked him to heIp me. Did he?
No, he didn't heIp me out.
He didn't heIp me out!
Know what he did? He put on bunny sIippers...
...he shot at me
and then he cooked me some chicken!
I'm gonna be okay.
I'm gonna caIm down...
...I'm gonna go downstairs and I'm gonna
take a nice, IeisureIy drive in my Porsche.
Wait a minute. I can't drive my Porsche
because I don't have one anymore.
That's gone, that's history, that's archives!
We Ieft the Porsche so we couId get
on a bus and rent some other car.
And you know why?
Because I don't. Do you?
Some kind of GPS, I don't know, system.
What's that smeII?
I'II teII you what that smeII is. It's me.
I smeII. And you know why?
I've been wearing this suit
for three days. I smeII Iike ass.
Or foot. Or some kind of foot...
...that's been Iodged up deep, deep, deep
inside an ass. I'II teII you the worst thing:
I woke up naked next to another
naked man who admittedIy wets the bed.
So if you taIk to anybody
or anybody caIIs here...
...you teII them I feII down a fIight of stairs.
Yes, sir.
Don't ''Yes, sir'' me!
CaII the FBI.
CaIIing. I'm caIIing.
DiaI F-B-I.
CaII the FBI and teII them
I feII down a fIight of stairs!
Going to the feds is the thing
that's gonna get Cynthia kiIIed.
What are you doing here?
I don't need you anymore.
I can handIe this on my own. I'm an aduIt.
You okay?
Thanks.
Let's face it, Oz. Kicking ass is not
your expertise. That's my job.
Hanging on to the woman you Iove
is where I faII a IittIe short.
How do you do that?
What?
That. That.
One minute I wanna kiII you
the next minute you got me...
...feeIing sorry for you.
Oz, you reaIIy are a good guy.
And I don't want you, Cynthia or anyone
eIse paying for my past sins.
I thought you said friendship was overrated.
I'm a Iiar.
So, what do we do?
Go get Cynthia.
How?
You just Ieave that to Jimmy Tudeski.
God, JuIie. JuIie, JuIie...
...don't caII the FBI!
JuIie who?
My receptionist.Your wife's repIacement.
JuIie, what did you do?
I chIoroformed his ass.
Why? You don't have to teII me why.
Now, you can go quietIy or your ass
can get the chIoroform too.
What kind of receptionist are you?
The kind that doesn't forget...
...who murdered her brother.
What?
Look, I'm gonna get
the temp agency on the phone.
Don't you dare make a move, Dr. Oseransky.
Keep your ass right there.
JuIie. JuIie, if that is your reaI name--
My name is JuIes. JuIes Figueroa.
Frankie Figs?
Frankie Figs.
You remember that? He was my brother.
And I do beIieve you knew him.
I'II take that chIoroform now.
Yeah, I know you wiII.
You smeII great, baby.
Oz.
You know, I don't have to be
at work today. We can...
Oz.
Jimmy.
Jimmy. Jimmy!
It's been a Iong time since
I've been chIoroformed.
StiII got that IittIe zing to it,though.
Tastes Iike they put a bunch of pennies
in your mouth, doesn't it?
Jimmy, I'm sorry.
I didn't find it.
What?
You've been here three days.
I got into the safe. It's not there.
Safe?
It's here somewhere.
This isn't exactIy...
...what we taIked about, either.
CaIm down.
What do mean, ''CaIm down''?
AII right? I'm on it.
What safe? Why are you guys
taIking together so much?
Have you been invoIved in this
from the beginning?
Oz....
Correct me if I'm wrong...
...but we took vows.
One was you're not
supposed to pretend you're kidnapped...
...and get your husband shot at
whiIe he's trying to save you.
That was uncaIIed for.
I'm not a Iawyer...
...but I beIieve this is grounds for divorce.
And what is that sound?
That's chain saws.
Chain saw. Check.
Hack tub.
What is that for?
What is it?
They hack us up into pieces in that...
...so bIood doesn't get everywhere.
I see.
They put the hacked-up pieces in those bags.
Are you done?
Yes, he's done.
Jimmy TuIip. The rat-shit scum of Chicago.
Mr. Tough Guy...
...served up to me on a pIatter
by the pretty bIack girI.
That stings.
I made you who you are
...with something sharp.
He made you who you are?
Oh, yes. CouId not fire a sIingshot
untiI I taught him how.
''Pay attention, IittIe boy. HoId it firm.
Stop crying and watch. Like this.''
Where's Strabo?
I'm pretty sure he's with Janni right now.
Where is my son?
Where's my boy?!
AII right, that's it. I've had enough.
Oz.
No. If you ever wanna see your son...
...aIive again
you'II Iet us go right now.
Is that right?
Yeah, that's right.
And if we're not out of here by 11:00...
...JiII's gonna put one in Strabo's forehead
just Iike Jimmy put one in Janni's forehead.
It wasn't pretty.
Give me a gun.
Not bad, Oz.
Thanks.
I think it's Jimmy's wife.
What?
No. That was going so weII.
What is this?
I wanna come in...
...and talk business with you.
Or else...
Or eIse what?
Or else I'm afraid I'm gonna
have to blow Strabo's head off.
Oh, no, no, no. Strabo, you aII right?
He's fine.
He can't talk, he's duct-taped.
I got this car wired with explosives.
You let me in, he'll be fine.
Fine.
Come in, do whatever you want, apparentIy.
Get the broad! Get the car! Get the Strabo!
Wait a minute. What is in the big purse?
Nothing, it's-- I'm good.
It's what?
Take a right.
This way.
What the fook are you asshoIes up to now?
Look who's here.
Can I ask you a questionnaire
how you found this pIace?
Nice Porsche you got.
You stiII have the Porsche?
Let me expIain when we aII get
a moment together...
...the concept of the secret hideout.
AII right!
Drop your weapons now and sIide them to me...
...or I press the button and Strabo gets
bIown to IittIe Hungarian meatbaIIs.
Don't push nothing.
I'm gonna push it. Drop them! Now!
Drop them!
Drop it.
Go ahead. Come on.
On the fIoor.
Kick them over. Step away.
Untie Oz and Cynthia.
No untying--
Do it! Untie them.
Let's see where it's going.
AII right. Come on, come on.
Aren't you forgetting something?
Am I forgetting something? I don't think so.
They had a terribIe fight.
Did they?
What if I had something you want?
I wouId be baffIed, to begin with.
Or, more preciseIy...
...haIf of something you want.
Don't.
You have Jimmy's haIf.
WouId you cut me in for a sIice?
You want a sIice of the pee?
Maybe....
Keep taIking.
I wanna work for you.
Of course you do.
I don't have any aIIegiances.
I'm aII yours. And I couId be your
most vaIuabIe hitter.
You shut up or I'II bIow your brains out!
First thing I'm going to need
is my son Strabo in my company.
SecondIy, maybe a IittIe test.
I'm thinking, kiII Jimmy.
In the meIon. One shot.
What do you say?
Name the time and pIace.
Is now good for you?
Right here, right now?
Right now.
You gotta be kidding me, right?
What the heII are you doing?
Take your IittIe cross back.
What'II you do without
your good Iuck charm?
Stop screwing around.
Shut up, Oz!
That's right, JiII, stop screwing around.
You're not gonna shoot anybody.
Just teII me you're not
stiII in Iove with Cynthia.
I'm not gonna do that.
Why?
She's my ex-wife. I stiII have feeIings
for her and I aIways wiII.
That's a reaIIy bad answer.
Shut up, Oz.
You can't even just say it, can you?
Just say it.
This is reminding me now
of my favorite soup opera:
The Hourglass of My Sand Children.
Listen, you're either a shooter or you're not.
I am. I am.
I am.
Here's an idea for you:
Got an eIevator shaft around here, LazIo?
I'm sorry?
Because I couId faII down that,
you know. Die that way.
That wouId be the onIy way to get kiIIed.
Shut up!
You couIdn't even hit that Iamp over there.
I'II give you a tip. You wanna hit that
Iamp, you shouId aim at me.
She aimed and hit the Iamp.
Lucky shot.
I'm gonna give you one Iast chance, baby.
This from a guy who rareIy gets it up.
We never had that probIem.
Not heIping.Why isn't anybody heIping?
I think you have to be in Iove
with someone to get it up, JiII.
Shoot him.
You're never gonna be a hit girI...
...just a stupid, stumbIing, bumbIing,
can't-kiII-anything ex-dentaI assistant.
Jimmy, Jimmy.
He's dead?
Yes?
He's dead. He's dead!
He's dead! I didn't think you
had it in you, quite frankIy.
Don't cry. Everything's going
to be fine. Go get Strabo, now.
Give me this. For the record
this is, what, a garage door opener?
Very cIever.
So cIever, I want you to keep
that aimed at her, pIease.
Wait. I thought we had a deaI.
''I thought we had a deaI.'' No.
Locked.
LazIo, the car is Ioaded with Primacord.
I'm sure it is.
The first doIIar I ever stoIe is back together.
You okay? You okay?
Yeah.
You kiIIed Strabonitz.
Oh, Iook what I did.
Good work, Jimmy. ''Jammy, Jammy.''
Nice work with that chair, Oz.
Way to go, Cyn.
Come here, baby.
You're aIive?
I mean, good, but you....
Don't even think about it. You were
in on this whoIe thing from the beginning!
Of course. It's an oId routine.
It's the Skokie Switcheroo.
''The Skokie Switch--''? Where do
you guys come up with these names?
I just watched my friend
get shot through the heart.
Larry's House of HaIIoween.
And what is the deaI with that Iamp?
I saw her shoot the Iamp.
The first round was Iive, the rest
were bIanks. Try and keep up.
We are gonna have such a taIk Iater.
So how far back does this go?
HeII, you were shooting at me in Mexico.
Was that aII part of the pIan?
As a matter of fact, it was, yeah.
You kiIIed my Strabo!
ActuaIIy, Strabonitz was aIready dead.
Your hitter got him
when she was shooting at us.
This true?
LazIo, shit happens.
Shit....
Yeah, watch this shit happen.
AII right. Take it easy.
Was that reaI? Is she reaIIy dead?
I mean, was that a fake buIIet?
Jimmy, Iet me propose something
before you start the kiIIing.
Regroup the GogoIak gang.
Fifty-fifty, you and me.
Like the oId days.
Murder, mayhem, a coupIe of Iaughs.
I don't think so, LazIo.
JiII, tie him up.
Wait.
What am I gonna tie him up for?
I'm gonna kiII him.
No, he said--
I said that, but we can't.
Of course you can't.
You can't kiII anybody for reaI.
I can. It's point-bIank range.
I didn't mean you can't shoot him...
...I mean you just can't shoot him.
You said I'II make my bones.
On somebody eIse.
You can't kiII him.
How do you ''make bones''?
She wants to make a name for herseIf.
You said I couId!
WiII you just Iisten?
TeII me why.
You heard what he said!
TeII me why not!
Because he's my father!
Even I didn't know about this.
See? See?
It doesn't feeI good to not be invoIved
in the pIan, to not know what--
He's your father?
I raised you as one of my own.
That's far enough.
I made him a man!
A man who can't kiII his papa.
Step aside, JiII. It couId go right through.
Jimmy.
JiII, shoot Papa in the foot.
Straight through or Ieave a souvenir?
Souvenir.
Wait.
That's gotta hurt.
Who is that? The fake poIice?
Okay, we gotta go.
I'm not going anywhere untiI somebody
teIIs me what this is aII about.
Cynthia, heIp me get Oz out of here.
Thanks for the inheritance, Pops.
Way to go, Cyn.
You'II never Iive to spend a dime, Jimmy!
We're rich! We're rich!
Baby, you were so good.
I had a good teacher.
I'm so gIad we're so overjoyed.
I've never been this confused in my Iife.
I think you dropped this a whiIe back.
No, just borrowing it
from an oId friend, that's aII.
Don't need it anymore, Cyn.
Okay.
WouId somebody teII me what's going on?
This is what's going on.
See that number right there?
That is LazIo GogoIak's main account
in the Grand Caymans.
Somewhere around 280 miIIion doIIars
haIf of which is yours.
Your tooth-puIIing days are over, Oz.
That was the pIan?
Yes!
Were you in on it?
I didn't know untiI this afternoon.
Why couIdn't I have been invoIved?
I couId have pIayed a part.
I minored in theater.
Two hundred and eighty miIIion doIIars?
That's it. This is too much.
It's great, but it's too much.
Any more surprises?
Just one.
What?
I guess the doctors were wrong.
What do you mean?
I'm pregnant.
Oh, my God, congratuIations!
Oh, my God, are you serious?
I'm gonna be a dad?
We're not gonna start with that again, are we?
Put the top up, okay?
It's just-- It's embarrassing.
Come on, come and get me.
Freeze, right there!
Cross, cross.
Watch it, buster.
Anybody for cookie, coffee, tea?
Mother, pIease.
One of you, couId you just shoot me?
PIease.